On The Road To Perfection
Episode 161: Because I Said So
“Because I said so” is never the answer. We do not typically get into exact parenting practices, but this was an occasion that happened after Mass that Kristofer thought needed addressing. Raised in an environment where asking “Why” was not allowed when parental direction, guidance, or discipline was being meted out, Kristofer and Beth relate a family story that exemplifies this situation and, in the process, discuss how it has been psychologically shown that Dads have a god-like aura to their children until their late teens. We dive into taking our cues from our perfect Dad in heaven. God NEVER says “Because I Said So.” Neither should we.
God is the most eligible person to justifiably be able to say, “Because I said so,” and we should have no problem with that. But He loves us and explains His answers to the question, “Why?” As we grow in relationship with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we begin to trust and learn – much as our kids grow in relationship with us – and do not ask Him “why?” so much anymore. But we get there because He has always answered us – if we are listening.
Kids learn to trust their god-figure – their Dad – by his explaining, not by his fiat that should not be questioned. Those brief opportunities to explain captures the opportunity to grow closer to a child and to develop the trust that has to exist throughout our lives and relationship with our children. “Because I said so” shuts down that opportunity and creates a wider divide.
There is always an answer. If there isn’t, then the command is illegitimate and simply a display of unchecked authority – tyranny at the family level. When there is not an answer, it is an opportunity for the Dad to grow the relationship and create greater trust by admitting there is no answer (beyond, “Because I said so.”) and apologizing.
“Because I said so” is the worst of all answers. We only get to the truth by asking questions. This response creates a wall, which only gets higher and thicker, and makes the child less likely to trust, obey, and ask.
Some items on our site that will help in exploring Because I Said So, or at least get you started:
TWMWU:Jesus Died For Us
Podcast Episode:What Are Good Works – Episode 114
Podcast Episode: Raising Kids In These Times – Episode 122
Podcast Episode: Taking Kids to Mass – Age 7 and Above – Episode 128
Podcast Episode: It Works! – Episode 131
Podcast Episode:Are You Saved? – Episode 136
Podcast Episode: Joy In Obedience – Episode 153
Podcast Episode:Am I Good Enough To Be Catholic? – Episode 156
Podcast Episode:Beginning With The End In Mind – Episode 157
Podcast Episode:God’s Beauty – Episode 160
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